Rupert's Christmas

Happy Christmas from Rupert

I hope all my four- and two-legged friends had a good Christmas. I helped Linda and David and their friends enjoy the day. I certainly am a popular dog.

We had a beautiful Christmas cake made by my friend Glynis. I heard a lot of “mmms” when it was eaten, so it was definitely delicious. But the best thing about it was that it had a model of me on the top! Not for me snowmen, fir trees or Santas, the only thing worthy of my cake was a chocolate Rupert.

Then, my friend Doreen gave Linda her gift. It was The Rupert Calendar 2013 and had 12 photos of me on it — one for every month, so it will keep Linda happy for a whole year.

The photo shows the calendar and the chocolate Rupert.

The humans all looked a bit silly wearing paper hats, but I kept my dignity and refused to put one on.

I got an email from my new friend Benz on Christmas Day. He was a little lonely as his humans Jean and Rob were spending the day with me. Benz has had a few more problems with his tail, but it seems to be mending nicely now. He’s still a bit afraid to go outside — I think he worries he might be taken somewhere in a car again — but I’m sure he’ll venture out soon. Perhaps we could hunt truffles together. Apparently the truffle hunting season is here again. Hope I have better luck this time.

I also got a festive photo from my tormentor, Kandy the cat. I admit she looks quite sweet but, boy, can she be fierce.

Happy New Year from Rupert.

A note from Benz

As you know, I am not a great fan of cats (Kandy cat, please note). I have, however, made an exception for Benz, the little kitten David and I accidentally transported in the car engine compartment from my house to my friends Jean and Rob’s house. They decided to keep him, so I asked Linda to buy him a present from me. She bought two toy mice — I barked my approval when she showed them to me.

Benz has written to me to say thank you and tell me a bit about his new life. That kitten has certainly landed on his paws.

You can see Benz above with my friend Jean and generally being cute. Here’s what he has to say. (Jean and Rob used to live in Scotland. I think that’s why Benz has a Scottish lilt to his purr.) Benz is only little, so I’ve taken the liberty of explaining some things that maybe won’t be clear to my readers. Here’s what Benz has to say:

“Hello Rupert, Benz here. Thank you very much for my mice. I’m sorry I hid when I saw you arrive, but you were with the man who brought me here (That’s David. Rupert). He was very kind, but I was worried about a return journey the same way as I arrived at this ideal wee nest.

“Before she flitted away and left me to go it alone when I was only six weeks old, my mother told me to think ahead. As there was a very a large brown animal around (I think he means me. Rupert) where she dumped me, I decided to find somewhere snug and warm. Soon afterwards, I heard a dreadful noise all around me (That was the car engine. Rupert) and although I was very concerned, I kept my cool. When the noise stopped and I’d stopped rolling around, I started to cry. Another human — I think that’s what mother called them — appeared and lifted me out of my wee noisy nest. (That was Rob. Rupert.)

“I was put in a box overnight with some white liquid to drink, but I didn’t sleep very well. The human came back to see me in the morning, picked me up, stroked my head and took me into a very warm place. Yet another human came and stroked me and then put me on the floor. Unfortunately, I had a little accident on the floor and she was not at all happy. Anyway, someone else brought along a neat container full of something to enable me to hide any little accidents, taught me how to use it and the humans were all happy again.

“I am treated like a wee King here. I get lots of food, have warm humans to sit on and somewhere cosy to sleep at night. I enjoy playing with the mice you gave me, Rupert. I have put one on the stairs and have the other beside me on a large sofa — I think that’s what they call it. All in all, life is pretty good thanks to you and the man who accidentally brought me here.

“I hope to see you soon, Rupert, and thank you for the stroke and kiss you sent me with Linda. I am sure in time I will be able to go through the large thing that opens onto the cold, but I’ve not been out of my heavenly pad yet — I’m still a little nervous. The one with spiky hair laughs at me (That’s Jean. Rupert). Mum would be so happy for me. If you see her, please tell her and give her my love. Tell her it’s probably time she stopped producing brothers and sisters for me. They won’t all be as lucky as me.

“Thank you again for my gifts. Between you and me, I’m slightly worried that the one with the spiky hair is off her rocker. But she means well and I’m here to look after her now.  Love to you and your human friends. Meow from Benz.”

Winter has arrived!

It’s cold out there, brrrrrrrrrrrr!

I'm a dog who likes his comfort. Give me a cosy rug in front of the fire or my bed with its three duvets and I'm a happy puppy. It’s not that I don't like a good romp in the snow now and then, who doesn't? But I don't like lots of cold — especially when I've just been to Funky Toilettage and had a lot of my fur clipped off.

I went to there yesterday, so Linda got my coat out for me to wear on our morning walk. I must say, with all due modesty, that I look pretty smart in it. That's why I don't mind wearing it, plus the fact that it helps keep me warm. I had a few good chases this morning too, which warmed me up. Didn't catch anything though. But I have heard talk about truffle hunting after Christmas. I can’t wait to show those annoying little truffles just who’s boss.

I'm lucky I guess compared to my Uncle Kuno and Aunt Polly. I heard Linda and David talking about what those two had to go though just to take their walks during the winter in Chicago. They not only had to have their coats on, but also had to have boots on as well. These were like long stockings with sheepskin soles that they had to wear on each paw. It took five minutes just for them to get ready to go for a walk. No thank you!

I even heard them say that after an ice storm David had to chop holes in the ice so they could relieve themselves without falling down on the slick ice. I can hardly imagine it.

I'll sign off now as it’s time for my afternoon nap. David's built a nice fire for me to lie in front of. And it may be chilly, but the sun is streaming in through the windows.

What a lucky dog I am.

The world’s luckiest cat

As you know I’m not overly fond of cats. But I have to congratulate a grey kitten I’m going to tell you about on being a real survivor. Here’s the story so far…

Linda heard a kitten in our bushes. It was mewing away like mad. Linda kept me in the house because she knew what I’d do to any cat that dared to come into MY garden. She couldn’t find the kitten, but she put out some milk and food by our garage and opened the side door a bit.

Next morning there was no sign of the kitten and the food hadn’t been touched. Linda asked David and me to keep a look out for the kitten as she was off to England for a short break.

After she’d gone, both David and I thought we could hear the kitten when we went into the garage to get the car out for my walk, but neither of us could find it. That evening we thought we heard it again as we left to have dinner at Rob andJean’s. Still couldn’t find it.

David drove the seven miles to Rob and Jean’s and when he stopped and turned off the engine he could hear the kitten mewing in the engine compartment! He opened the bonnet and could hear it clearly, but couldn’t see it. Later Rob came out to help look and they managed to spot it. Rob got a glove and was able to reach down and catch the kitten as David held back some hoses, leads and whatnots.

Rob and Jean said they’d keep it. They’d recently lost Bee (a dog who was my great friend) to old age, so didn’t have any animals. This was great. David called Jean the next morning and everything seemed great. The kitten was inside, eating and liked to be cuddled. There was a bit of a panic about the kitten learning how to use its litter tray, but that was resolved.

Then there was another trauma for the kitten. Rob and Jean’s neighbours, Bavo and Huggy came to visit. Huggy, who’s a vet, discovered that the kitten had a broken tail! Apparently it had been broken for some time as it was quite infected. So now the poor kitten has just over half a tail left, but is much more comfortable. 

That’s the story so far. Hopefully life will settle down now for the poor thing as it’s used up quite a few of its nine lives. Rob and Jean named it Mercedes to honour its mode of arrival. But Huggy pointed out Mercedes was a boy, so the name was changed to Benz. However, Jean rather liked Mercedes and kept calling the kitten that, but David and Linda’s wine group decided that would confuse the poor thing and voted to call it Benz. Even I wish you well, Mercedes-Benz!

I get news from Robbie

I love hearing from my friends. I thought you might like to see the email I got from Robbie of Atlanta (wonder how he voted in the elections?). He sent it to David, who was quite slow at passing it on to me. I’m beginning to wonder if I need a full-time secretary. Anyway, here’s part of Robbie’s email. I’m pleased he is not quite so deaf now. (I seem to have problems with the word ‘No”, but otherwise, I’m fine in the hearing department.) Robbie also sent me a photo. Isn’t he a handsome dog!

Here’s what Robbie had to say:

“Hi. It's Robbie from Atlanta. Sorry I had to send this to your dad; although my dad has lots of de grease, he really is quite hopeless at doing something as simple as attaching a photo, as you asked. He tried several times to send it directly to you, then gave up. (I always know when he gives up when he says ‘I need a drink’.)

“Anyway, I thought I would send you a photo of myself cleverly trading a vital phone number for a treat. Works every time. I know you have a wonderful coat, but you must admit that mine is not too shabby, although I can tell you that wearing a full fur coat in 40 degree summer here is no fun at all. That brings up my next point. I think I mentioned that I lost my hearing. I'm not letting anyone know this, but it has come back slightly. It seems that I can hear ‘dinner’, ‘treat’ and other such words, but cannot or the life of me hear ‘let's go outside’ or ‘come and get brushed’, etc. Dad says it is selective hearing, although he seems to have that down to a science himself. (‘Scotch?’ he can hear perfectly; ‘Can you help with the dishes?’ — he never looks up). Happy walks, Robbie.”

David also got an email from a friend of his called Alan. It contained the alarming news that there is another Rupert who's in America. An eight-year-old boxer of all things. I think I am going to have to copyright my name.

Meet Robbie.

My new coat

Linda and David are getting very forgetful. First of all, they forgot to invite anyone to my birthday party, so it was just the three of us celebrating. We did have a good time, but it would have been good if my friends Ferney, Barty and Bess had been there — and not just because they would have brought me presents (although that would have been very nice, of course).

I’m modeling the gift David and Linda bought me (at least they remembered to give  me something). Paris Fashion Week! London Fashion Week! They’re not a patch on the style here in Verfeil, as you can see. This tasteful coat is to keep me safe during the hunting season. Smart, isn’t it? This season’s colours too. My new coat is practical as well. Being a large brown poodle during the hunting season can be dangerous. Those tipsy hunters might just mistake me for a deer, a wild boar or even a truffle. My advice is to be better safe than sorry; if you're a large dog, wearing a bright coat is a very good idea. 

Then they forgot to take me on the Treasure Hunt, so it’s not surprising they came almost last. I would have been very good at hunting down the clues, instead I had to spend several hours amusing myself at home, so it’s no wonder I completely broke the lovely toy bone that I was given recently. Apparently Linda and David had problems sniffing out some socks that were left as treasure. I bet they regretted not taking me. I heard that even the new dog Freddie went along. I’m very pleased for him and I’m sure everyone made him very welcome, but they all missed me being there.

To be honest, I’m feeling a bit neglected at the moment. All my visitors have gone home and I haven’t heard from Robbie in Atlanta recently, or Pixie the Poodle in France and I miss their news. OK, Kandy the cat sent me a birthday card, but she is, well, a cat and doesn’t really count.

I had a nice birthday

Well, I had a very nice birthday and thank you to everyone who sent me birthday greetings. I think Ferney was jealous because David cooked me a delicious lamb supper. Glynis must have been very busy because her cake hasn’t arrived yet. I think my party has been delayed too. I heard that there was a musical evening the night before my birthday. Lots of my friends were there, Linda sang some songs and everyone had a really good time. It’s just unfortunate that Linda and David forgot to take me with them. I expect everyone there would have liked to sing Happy Birthday to Rupert. I was pleased, though, that Linda and David decided to stay at home with me on my birthday rather than go out and eat fish and chips.

Here’s a photo Victoria sent me — I think it would make a nice birthday card, although Linda might need to take a more flattering photo of me — preferably after a visit to Funky Toiletage. I might suggest that Linda starts making some. An even bigger surprise was that I got a card from Kandy the cat, which was very kind of her, but I don’t think we’ll ever be friends. Sadly, the squeaky bone that Lyn and Helen gave me last week has broken. I’m pretty sure David didn’t have anything to do with it, although I got the feeling he wasn’t pleased when I woke him up the other morning by playing with it next to his pillow.

I've heard that Linda and David are going on a Treasure Hunt next week. I hope they take me with them — I'd be good at sniffing out treasure, as long as it doesn't involve truffles.